Somebody's Mama Is Always Watching

By Beth Yarbrough

Southerners often chuckle when bewildered newcomers pack their bags and return from whence they came, telling the world that outsiders must not be welcome in the South. “So much for the famous Southern hospitality”, they say. We chuckle because, to a person, most all of them are completely missing the point. We love outsiders, and we are nothing if not hospitable. It's rude behavior we don't like.

Viewed from one direction, our love of good manners might be referred to by some as a love of pretense, passed down to us from arrogant ancestors. A more charitable take (favored by most who live here) is that we have simply been “raised right”. Never mind that we probably weren’t raised any better than any other demographic region of the country. This is our story and we stick to it.

Not that we hold back. On the contrary, we are good at getting you told. It’s just that we have learned how to put a soft spin on the process. A favorite sentiment on that subject claims that Southern gentility is the art of offering an insult so sweetly you suspect it could be a compliment. Indeed, “bless your heart” doesn’t even begin to cover it.

I can’t speak to how far back these traditions reach, but my own frame of reference leans toward the proliferation of small town churches that shaped our code of conduct in the 20th century. One did not survive in that environment by being rude. If your own mama didn’t witness an infraction, it was a sure bet the someone else’s mama did.

And now here we are. So if you are new to this area of the country, the rules aren’t that hard to discern. You just need to understand one thing. Around here, manners matter, word travels, and somebody’s mama is always watching.

Learn how to navigate that, and you’ll do just fine.

Photo of Jekyll Island, Georgia marsh by Beth Yarbrough.