Driving Miss Lilly

Apologies in advance if this title conjures up fond images of Morgan Freeman driving down the road with Jessica Tandy in the back seat. The phrase just seemed to fit the story, which is in fact the latest episode of Two Blondes Hit The Road.

The occasion was a recent foray across the Gulf Coast for a combination of personal appearances, research, and out-of-control eating. Nine days and eight nights were in the forecast. Translation: Luggage and lots of it.

Let’s be clear. Even for nine days, I carry three bags and one of those cute little insulated totes. Conversely, Ashley, my co-author (and daughter), carries somewhere in the neighborhood of two dozen assorted Lilly Pulitzer bags, a box fan, her favorite pillow, and some sort of insulated blanket that weighs 36 pounds all by itself. It’s also a slippery little sucker, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

We try to frequent the same hotel chain when traveling. The continuity from one site to another is strangely comforting, and it doesn’t hurt that we like their brand of coffee. Having stayed in dozens of their locations, we know the floor plans in our sleep, because they generally stick to two or three layouts. Even if you have never been to a city, you have been to this same hotel somewhere else. It helps.

Imagine my surprise one day a couple of weeks ago, then, when I walked in the front door of one of their locations and recognized nothing. It was a bit like drifting into a Starbucks only to be told they don’t sell coffee.

We were checked in, Ashley was parking the car, and I was assigned cart duty. She would meet me in the room.

Now, a word about that cart. The only one I could find had a wobbly, squeaky wheel on the left front that insisted on going in the opposite direction from where I was headed. We of course had it overloaded with my three bags, Ashley’s 22 Lilly Pulitzer bags, her box fan, her pillow, and the demon-possessed blanket.